Corporate empathy

In this times of diversity based on gender, ethnical background, culture, etc. Is that enough? Do we have to be careful when talking with other coworker if they do not belong to any of the main categories? Can we say what we would like and in the way we would like? No, we need to treat them empthically.

Communication in the workplace

When in every day job, we need to communicate with our coworkers. We do not work in a bubble, we need something from them, they need something from us, we need to warn them or send them a piece or information they need. These are possible reasons we need to do what humans do best: communicate.

While the stereotype is that software developers are in a basement and are reluctant or even unable to socialize with other person, the reality is totally different: pair-programming, code reviews, documentation reviews, incidents, issues, etc. All of these activites require that at least two persons work together to achieve a successful outcome.

Forms are important

The same way we use “please” when we need something, and “thank you” when somebody makes us a favor, we need to keep a formal level of language. There are ton of stories about startups, small companies or whatever other environments where they work with a fraternity-like environment (I should say fraternity 80s movie style). Of course, when people behave that way, some are going to get hurt.

Workplace is no place for things that could be normal with friends and viceversa.

Empathy

Empathy is the quality of thinking about others when acting. Thinking in the effects of what we are going to do before doing it.

Having empathy with a coworker because it is a person is a must.

Empathy in the workplace

When it is required? Always. In our case, as software developers, most communication happens in written form, but even so, we need to follow a good behaviour when interacting with others. If we allow toxicity, resentment or tribalism to grow in an organization, we are not going to achieve anything, anytime.

Some advice I think could be useful for engineers:

Be aware of cultural differences

More than 10 years ago, I travelled to London, and while I was in a train station. I went to a sandwich shop and ordered a sandwich there. How did I do it? With all my good intentions I said: Good afternoon, I want a sandwich. My brother, that was living there for a while was horrified by my manners. The thing is that Spanish is a more direct language, because of its low information rate. Of course, that is not the case of English, so I sounded like a troglodyte.

A good English as a Second Language speaker would have not falled for this, but my poor English skills, fruit of watching uncountable TV sitcoms and series were not on par with a native speaker.

Be courteous

Related to the point above, as most of us use English as a second language, we need to be actively enforcing a different way of communicating. What I mean by this is that we speak and write not just by translating in our heads from our native language to English, but we try to adapt our communication to the culture of the recipient. As it is impossible if we are communicating with people with different cultures, the best way to minimize issues is to present oursleves as extemely courteous individuals.

I know sometimes this manner of speak could be seen as old-fashioned or outdated, but I would say it is a good way to not seen as rude or impolite: it is better to be courteous and polite in excess, than the opposite.

Difusse stressful situations

Stress is a mind-killer. It converts us from empathic animals to violent deranged creatures. Avoiding stress or in the case that is impossible difusse or even reduce it is a must if we want to continue working on our best behaviour.

Cortisol, the stress hormone, is known to reduce the empathy in animals (source).

Offer help to others

What a better way to understand other people than to get in their shoes? Helping others is a good way to improve relationships, understand the issues others are facing, learn new things, and of course, develop better software.

Helping junior members of your team is an investment, as it is going to be valuable in the future when they are more autonomous.

Helping senior members of your team is a way to learn new skills, technologies, business rules, etc. It is a way of improving yourself in the context of the company.

If you are working alone, something is wrong.

Do not blame

I tend to check git story when reviewing some old feature. It helps me think like the developer thought when developing that. When the code is not particularly good, a temptation is always present to blame the original author, but what has experience showed me? That many times, I am the culprit!

Bad code, bugs, mistakes, etc. are not more than a product of our fallibility as humans. All issues are opportunities for improvement, bad code could be refactored, a bug needs to be fixed and have a test with the correct behaviour…

What are you going to gain if you blame somebody? Do you know how they were working on the feature? Do you know if they were stressed or what resources do they have it? No, you are judging an issue with a huge bias. That is not productive, keep an open mind, and if you see something that could be improved, could not you help them to improve it?

Praise in public, criticize in private

Some time ago, I saw a pull request review were the reviewer doubted of the skills of the creator of that code publicly. That started a discussion and accusations between the reviewer and the author of the code in several of our chat channels. I was astounded about this situation. What are you going to win apart from making the other angry?

It is better to praise in public (everybody likes that), and if there are something that could be improved, have a direct chat with them.

Criticize with good intent

Keep in mind that you need to formulate your criticism in a way that helps to the recipient. Even better, do not think of that message as criticsm, but as something that needs to help them to improve.

I still remember a 360-feedback round where the question was What do you think they need to improve?

When in doubt, assume good intentions

I tend to think about the things too much. From time to time, I receive a chat message that makes me irk. Most of the time, I am in the wrong, and as I work in international environments, it is a bad-translated idiom, or something that sounds better in their native language, etc.

Of course, there is also the possibility of having a bad day, being stressed, or having a mental meltdown that makes us think bad about a received communication.

Do not do that. Always assume the person is not aggressive, but is a poor communicator. Communication issues are abundant, and it is better if we stop miscommunication and try to have an open mind about it.

Foster an empathy culture in your organization

In one of my positions at a software developer at the main telecomunications commpany in Spain, Telefonica, I enjoyed this kind of empathy culture like in no other place I have worked for.

Management there was always encouraging collaboration between coworkers, all issues were solved fast and effectively by managers, there was no drama, only the issues of the proper issues of the trade, software development.

Conclusion

Do you think you could improve the environment in your organization? Is enough with online courses? Should an empathic communication be encouraged in your organization?